Have you ever had a moment where something—maybe a smell, a place, or even a sound—suddenly made you feel uneasy, anxious, or like you were transported back in time emotionally… but you couldn’t quite explain why? You just want to forget trauma not deal with never ending reminders of what it stole from you.
That’s the strange and powerful nature of trauma. Sometimes, people don’t even remember the traumatic event itself—but their mind and body do.
This leaves many wondering: Can you really forget trauma?
And if you do, why does it seem to “come back” years later out of nowhere?
Let’s dive into the mystery of how the brain responds to trauma—and how therapies like EMDR are helping people make sense of and heal from these seemingly hidden wounds.
Can You Forget Trauma?
Yes—and no.
Let me explain.
When we experience something traumatic, our brain doesn’t store that memory the same way it stores, say, what you ate for breakfast or the name of your fifth-grade teacher.
In moments of intense fear or danger, the brain’s amygdala (our emotional alarm system) kicks into high gear, and the hippocampus (which helps organize and contextualize memories) may go offline.
As a result, traumatic experiences can get stored as fragmented sensory and emotional pieces—not like a clear, coherent story, but more like scattered puzzle pieces without the picture on the box.
That’s why trauma survivors often:
- Can’t remember key details
- Feel like something “bad” happened but don’t know what
- React strongly to certain triggers without knowing why
This phenomenon is sometimes called dissociative amnesia—a survival response where the brain essentially buries certain aspects of the trauma to protect you from being overwhelmed. It’s like the brain saying, “This is too much. Let’s lock it away for now.”
But If It’s Buried, Why Does It Come Back?
The thing is, trauma doesn’t just go away because we don’t remember it. The body keeps the score (yes, like the title of that amazing book by Bessel van der Kolk). Yes, I’m a fan girl of the trauma therapy legend. I’ll show you my pic with him sometime, just ask!
Years—even decades—later, trauma can resurface in surprising ways:
- Nightmares
- Panic attacks
- Sudden depression or anxiety
- Flashbacks triggered by sights, smells, or sounds
- Difficulty in relationships or with trust
Often, this resurfacing happens when something in life mirrors the original trauma—such as becoming a parent, entering a new relationship, facing a crisis, or simply slowing down after years of being in “go mode.”
When that happens, it’s not that the trauma is suddenly happening again—it’s that the brain and body are finally saying, “Hey, we’re ready to process this now.”
Enter EMDR: A Game-Changer for Healing
If you’ve heard of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), you may know it’s become a go-to trauma therapy—and for good reason.
EMDR is especially helpful for people who:
- Can’t “talk their way” through trauma because they don’t remember it clearly
- Feel stuck in the same emotional loop no matter how much insight they gain
- Experience strong body reactions to things they logically know are safe
So how does EMDR work?
In a nutshell, EMDR helps reprocess traumatic memories so they no longer feel as emotionally charged or overwhelming.
During an EMDR session, the therapist guides the client to focus on a disturbing memory (or body sensation, emotion, or image), while also engaging in bilateral stimulation—often through side-to-side eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones.
This bilateral stimulation mimics the natural processing that happens during REM sleep and seems to help the brain reorganize and integrate those “scattered puzzle pieces” of trauma into a more complete, less distressing memory.
Over time, many clients report that the memory no longer feels as intense, their body relaxes more easily, and their reactions to triggers lessen significantly.
But What If I Don’t Remember the Trauma?
Great question—and here’s the beautiful part about EMDR:
You don’t need to remember everything for healing to begin.
EMDR can start with current symptoms—like anxiety, nightmares, or tension in your body—and work backward. You and your therapist don’t need to “dig up” memories you’re not ready for. Instead, you work with what’s showing up in the here and now.
In many cases, the brain naturally brings forward what needs healing, when it’s safe enough to do so.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Human
If you’ve ever wondered why you react so strongly to certain things… or why you have gaps in your memory… or why something from “so long ago” still seems to hold emotional power over you—you’re not crazy, and you’re definitely not alone.
These are normal trauma responses.
They don’t mean you’re broken.
They mean your brain was doing its best to protect you.
The good news?
Healing is possible.
Healing isn’t about forgetting trauma. It’s about loosening it’s control over your life.
Therapies like EMDR offer a gentle, powerful path to finally putting those puzzle pieces back together—so you can move forward with more clarity, calm, and connection.
If this resonated with you, give us a call, text or email and one of our trauma therapists will respond. Our practice motto is “Hope Grows Here.” We 100% believe that you don’t have to be held hostage by your trauma. We couldn’t do this work if we didn’t believe in HOPE! Reach out. We’re here on the other end of the phone call, text or email.
